My husband had a falling out with his family. I think that is mildly put given the circumstances, but I'll leave it at that. We agreed that just because the adults can't get along the kids should not have to suffer. I don't really have family here, so his family is all we got as far as cousins go. When the sister that he still talks to asks to have the kids, we allows her to take them. My daughter still knows her, she has her own kids, and her son loves my daughter to death.
We gave up our kids for a few hours to go on a little date. I kept checking my phone and there were no phone calls, so I had a great time. I don't check in now because the last time I did that I was told my daughter threw a fit upon hearing my voice. I relaxed and had a great time. Everybody was tired from work, so we decided to call it a night early. I called my sister in law and told her we were on the way. She said okay and I didn't hear any crying in the background, so I felt completely happy.
When we got to the house, he sent me into the lion's den. You see, we don't go in that house because of the mildly put "falling out" situation. The situation was horrible, but he decided because I am not family by blood so they would be forced to be civil with me. When I walked in, it felt like I should've worn a bullet proof vest. Who knows what will be said, and so I sharpened my own claws just in case I had to defend my family. Nothing in hell would stop me from picking up my kids. There was some of the family in the living room. I was my usual cordial self. I said hello and did the polite Asian head nod to the elders ... no response. It was awkward, it was uncomfortable, and I'm sure they wanted me to feel it. I stood my ground and found my daughter running to me babbling. I gave her a hug, wrapped my son up as fast as I could, and I still politely said goodbye despite the fact that I knew I wouldn't really get a response back. There was some converstation during those awkward minutes of waiting for my sister in law to gather my kids things ... they kept grilling me about my husband. I didn't flinch and answered the questions. I know they didn't find satisfaction in any of them. When I left, one of his Aunts said, "You are always welcome in this house" How strange to say that to me. It certainly didn't feel like it.
In the car, my daughter managed to find words for her babbling. I knew she was babbling because she was upset. I just automatically assumed she was upset because we weren't with her. Now that she felt comfortable, she told me that her cousin is mean. I asked her why her cousin is mean, and she told me that her cousin "smacked" her face and hit her. I didn't know how to take it, I didn't know if they were watching adult movies and my daughter picked up on some words. I comforted her to the best of my ability and decided to investigate the situation in the morning. It was late and my daughter fell asleep.
The next morning my daughter repeated the story again without being asked. I asked her to show me where she was hit, and sure enough there was a bruise on her face. I didn't notice it in the dark night, but you can clearly see it in the morning light. When I gave her a bath, there were more bruises on her legs. I called my husband upste and told him what our daughter told me. When he came home, he gently asked her what happened and examined he boo boos. He was furious. He called his sister over and over again ... no answer. There were no answers given to us until the christening.
We know that his niece has a bad attitude. We saw it first hand living there. We also have to endure it, when our daughter comes home copying her cousin's ways. I have to put up with it and lead her back to the proper way of behaving. However, there is no excuse in the world to leave kids by themselves to do what they please. They're two and four. She denied everything and told us our daughter is a clutz. As clumsy as our daughter can be, she's never had a bruise on her face. My husband interrogated his nephew, and his nephew gave him that look. It's that look we know too well. It says, my mother is lying but I will never tell you she is. That answer was enough for us. The conclusion to this whole episode is ... she will not be going back there anymore.
Comments (6)
Aw that is so sad. Especially being so far away from your family. I can relate 100%, it sounds simliar to my husbands family and our story.... =(
That's shitty. I'm sorry you have been out in this situation and your daughter got hurt.
You have to hit pretty damn hurt to bruise like that. I would be tempted to press charges.
That's awful. Like your little girl would/could just fabricate that whole story! As hard as it may be I totally understand and agree with your decision not to allow her back there.
@mrsprosa@xanga - It's nice to know you're not alone, esp when this situation puts stress on our little family. Thank you for sharing.
@TornadoChaser - Those were my thoughts exactly when I saw them. I told my husband if you fall on your face you get knots or bruises on your forehead not really on your face. We are already pushing a case on someone in that house for stealing 2 of my husband's VA disability checks ... our Christmas almost came with no presents for our kids.
@Traci_Ladd@xanga - Yeah I know, I thought this was the age that they are too honest. They see or hear anything once and that's all you hear about until something else catches their interest. *sigh* As always thank you for caring.